Not that I could get by on a smile and a wink, but that it could truly, once and for all, be complete. Finished. I should have been able to tell that it was too good to be true. But, it makes sense that you'd come back. Only because there's always been a part of me that can't let you go. I don't see why I hold on to that last little bit. It's almost like torture talking to you. About anything. But... it's you. I can't let you fully leave me. I can't let myself let you leave.
No matter how much I say that I hate the way you make me feel and that I hate what you do to me, I still let it happen so easily. It's not even that you're purposefully hurting me. Or maybe you are. Maybe you know exactly how talking to you makes me feel, yet you still insist on pushing it. I can't tell anymore.
I can't understand my own feelings about it, let alone try and decipher the reasoning behind what you do. And I can't deal with any of this. Not right now.
I wish you wouldn't come back to me at the most inopportune times, just like you always do.
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