Strangers.

Stranger: You seem so nice! I would want to date you if I could. 

It amuses me the way that strangers, people I barely know, think I'm a nice sweet person. They are ready and willing to date me. It sounds bizarre to say that, but I can say this is not the first time for something like ^ to have happened.

I've had five hour conversations with complete strangers about the most ridiculous yet relevant things. I remember two conversations in specific. One was with a 22 year old college student at the University of Maryland with the last name Powers. We talked about Marvin Gaye, Biology and Philosophy late into the night, so late that I could see streaks of light peeking in through the gaps between my curtains. Another was with a 29 year old videographer at a local news station in Ann Arbor, Michigan. He told me about his experiences with UFOs, his Irish heritage and refined wine and beer. He even attempted to call me, even though it was 4 AM. Both were beautiful, complex and enlightening conversations that I will never forget. Two of the best discussions I may have had with anyone ever, perhaps.

How ironic it is that they were both with complete strangers. Nameless (or mostly nameless in the case of the college student) and faceless individuals whom I had never talked to or met with before.

Sometimes I feel safer almost to talk to complete strangers about my deepest thoughts. There's less judgement with their replies while simultaneously having less restraint. They can't base their opinions on any prior knowledge about you and can only go off of what you have told them. Still, at the same time, since they don't actually know you, they can be more honest about things.

It all just goes back to how little I trust everyone. Or well, everyone that I know well. I don't know why I have such little faith in people. I expect them to either not understand or not want to understand. I can't tell if it because I am scared of the unknown or because I really am just rotten at heart.

A little while back I talked about how I have feelings. About how I am more than just a perpetual cynic. But now... I feel so skeptical about it all.

I have never known myself well enough to come to solid conclusions about things like this. I never really know anything. I can't tell. I suppose, though, that one thing I know for certain is that I consistently don't know. And also that, no matter how little I trust the others around me, I should trust myself even less than I do them.