I guess I really do expect too much from people. All this time I viewed myself as someone who had the lowest possible expectations for everyone. I distance myself from people so to avoid ever having to put the few ideals I do have in my mind to the test. I ensure that I don't give a fuck because that is the only way I've learned to cope with being disappointed.

But, still, there is that small, lit cinder of hope that I somehow have missed when dousing the raging fire of hope, pleasantness and friendless that others have alive within them. I missed it. In the midst of the plumes of smoke rising from a seemingly empty pit of empathy and awareness of others, a small smoldering ember exists that I've overlooked.

That small ember alights so furiously and viciously, tearing down and consuming me and those near me.
That is my emotion. That is how my emotions express themselves through the empty vessel that is my body.

That is my downfall, and that is my end. My desire to want to be close to others and for others to want to be close to me, to have any sort of connecting force between another past that of a meaningless acquaintanceship, will be my end.